Q: "All my husband and I seem to do is take care of kids. Our kids come a rotating basis and it’s so frustrating; it’s soccer and piano lessons and homework, all of the time!. It’s nothing like it was when we were dating. Now all my husband and I seem to do is argue, usually about the kids! I am so sick of it."

A: My guess is that the arguing is not so much about the kids as about wanting the connection you felt when you decided that combining lives would be a good idea. You are both going to have to ask yourselves how you carved out time before you were married to spend time with one another. All couples have this problem, but Stepfamilies particularly need to remember to pay attention to and nurture the couple relationship. As your union is the newest relationship, it is the most fragile. It absolutely needs time and attention. Stepfamilies have a high failure rate for this very reason. Without attention to your coupleness, the relationship becomes about the details of life and the raising the kids, and the bond of the couple relationship weakens. Try to establish a “date night” and attempt to alter the visitations so that there is at least a one-day overlap so you and your husband can have time alone. And when you’re alone, talk about you two. It is essential.