Q: "Janet and her son seem to have this special language between them and I often feel like I don’t even have to be in the house, they wouldn’t miss me. Sometimes I’m sorry I took this step. Will I ever get used to being the outsider?"

A: You were hoping that you would come into this family and be on equal footing, weren’t you? This is difficult to get used to. Janet and her son have a history that you don’t share, and they have their language and their mother/son bond, which you don’t share. It’s hard not feeling on the same page as they are but, of course, you can’t be. Share with Janet how hard it is and see if she can “let you in” a little more to the interaction or the special “code” language. Also, her son might be bonding more closely right now as he is not used to sharing his Mom time with someone else. While it’s hard, it is a normal cycle of the Stepfamily, and as time goes by, you can learn the language and your Stepson will become more used to you as part of the new family.