Research shows evidence of cycles and the norms that occur in Stepfamily life and “phenomenons” that do not appear in a nuclear family. As therapists, we have a unique opportunity to offer help to so many people in this population. Some estimates tell us that the Stepfamily will be more prevalent than nuclear families very soon! So to “assume” a nuclear family model is really missing some key components that could be helpful to everyone in Stepfamily living.

We know that 50% to 60% of today’s marriages end in divorce. 75% of those divorced individuals remarry, typically within 3 to 4 years. However up to 60% of those second marriages do not succeed, and Stepfamilies typically dissolve within the first 2 to 3 years!. So much failure of these second marriages with children is due to unrealistic expectations and an inability to understand the cycle of the new Stepfamily. The sad thing about this statistic is that we know children are profoundly affected by their parent’s divorce. Evidence also shows, however, that a well-functioning Stepfamily can help restore a child’s sense of emotional and psychological well-being (not to mention the emotional and psychological well-being of the adults who have had a “failed” relationship). According to James Bray, a researcher of the Stepfamily, “When a second marriage and a second family dissolve, the children internalize the lessons that marriage is not permanent, that a home is never stable and that you cannot trust the people you love.”