In a study of 267 Stepcouples reporting on their experience in Stepfamily therapy (Pasley, Rhoden, Visher & Visher, 1996), couples reported that these 4 types of interventions were especially useful to them:

1. Validating and normalizing Stepfamily dynamics
2. Supplying important psychoeducation
3. Reducing helplessness
4. Building the couple relationship

When professionals who Stepfamilies turn to for help can validate and help them understand that Stepfamilies do in fact have initial difficulties, the relief of the Stepfamily can be profound! This is the beginning of helping the couple reduce the anxiety that they are doing something wrong and provide the needed relief to handle their Stepfamily more effectively.

So much of the problem with Stepfamilies is the unrealistic expectations held by everybody, sometimes even the very people they turn to for help! As a society, we are so programmed towards a nuclear family as the “model” of family that we assume a Stepfamily will function the same way. But, more often than not, a Stepfamily finds it doesn’t feel or function like a nuclear family. When this is clarified, normalized and talked about openly, the Stepfamily and the Stepcouple can become better equipped to deal with realistic expectations with greater ease.

The Stepcouple and the Stepchildren often feel overwhelmed and helpless. Being able to help couples identify these stressful, normal Stepfamily situations and provide them with information that is useful helps to reduce the chaos in the family. The household can then settle down and everyone can regain a sense of control. This is empowering for Stepcouples because it reduces the feelings of helplessness.