Q: "I wish I understood more what my kids are going through since their father and I divorced. Now both of us are in new relationships. Is this very hard for them?"

A: Children often go through a lot of grief after a marriage ends. They will grieve the loss of a parent, even if that parent has regular visitation, as it will never be the same. Some kids find they have more time with a biologic parent after a divorce. When a new partner enters the scene, the child loses much of the attention from that parent. They may feel a loss of stability as so many changes are occurring around them and they don’t have much say or control. A divorce and remarriages may mean changes for them they are not prepared to make—a change in school or friends. And all children have a loss of the fantasy of their first family and how they wanted it to be. We can sometimes forget, particularly if we have moved on, that the child may still be going through some or all of these feelings. It may be in the way of their being able to accept a new Stepparent. Making room for and talking through these feelings with your kids may help them realize these feelings are normal.